Terry Pratchett: accordion quotes

Terry Pratchett seems to have a thing about accordion players. I’ve got a couple of friends playing (or used to play) accordion, so I have collected these quotes from Discworld books for them (and hopefully other people) to enjoy (-:E

This list seems to be quite complete (insofar as my pdfgrep tells me), but feel free to point out anything missing. Too bad you sometimes have to know the book context to get the joke fully, but here they are anyway.

Interesting Times

Six Beneficent Winds … was not a wicked man. True, he played the accordion for amusement…

The Truth

‘Twenty-six people are mentioned by name.’
‘As accordionists?’
‘Yes.’
‘Won’t they complain?’
‘They didn’t have to play the accordion’

The Amazing Maurice and His Educated Rodents

Of course there weren’t just rat plagues — sometimes there were plagues of accordion-players, bricks tied up with string, or fish…


People could tolerate rats in the cream, and rats in the roof, and rats in the teapot, but they drew the line at tap-dancing. If you saw tap-dancing rats, you were in big trouble. Maurice had reckoned that if only the rats could play an accordion as well they could do two towns a day.

(Maurice „and His Educated Rodents“ enact “rat plagues” in small towns for their “stupid-looking kid” with a flute to save the day. Just as it goes in rat-piper stories)

Monstrous Regiment

The last three Abominations were against rocks, ears and accordion players. Okay, I might be with him on the last one, but…

Unseen Academicals

During the interval, I believe that there will be a marching display by the Ankh-Morpork accordion band, but I suppose these things are sent to try us.

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